An Anti-Guide to Summer in Montreal

This story originally appeared in a special edition The Main x URBANIA Micromag. Read the full collection here.

It's summer, and Montreal is overrun with people who don't live here, all chasing its mysterious charms. But not all summer pleasures are created equal. Plenty of them will leave you feeling like you wasted your time, or with a bitter aftertaste compared to the experience you were promised.

To spare you the disappointment, here's what NOT to do if you want to have a good time on our beautiful island, so you don't head home hating Montreal, as is sadly too often the case.

Getting around by car

For pity's sake, if you're only coming for the day, park at the Longueuil or Montmorency terminus and take the metro (or the REM, if it's running). If you're in town for a few days, pay for long-term parking. There are already too many cars in this city, and public transit covers pretty much every corner worth visiting.

Besides, Montreal is a gorgeous city to discover on foot. From Mount Royal to the Old Port by way of Mile End, Jean-Talon Market and Jarry Park, you can spend a full day in the open air on a 24-hour STM pass. In Montreal, a car is only good for getting on and off the island.

Strolling down Sainte-Catherine

How to put this? Our dear Cathou has seen better days and is currently getting a facelift out west. Once you're past the Place des Festivals, you'll feel like you've wandered into one of Gotham City's rougher boroughs.

Once again, stick to the metro. It'll save you from deciding the city is ugly and smelly and repeating it to every Montrealer you meet afterwards. Part of the Montreal experience is avoiding the ugly stretches and spending more time in the beautiful neighbourhoods. Ste-Cath, for now, is strictly on a need-to-go basis. It's not exactly where you soak up the city. Go get bagels on St-Viateur instead.

Lining up at La Banquise

At the risk of alienating the partiers who swear by it once they stumble out of the bars three sheets to the wind: La Banquise isn't that good. It does the job, but if you can avoid it, don't stand in line just to say you went, for the love of God. Especially not in 30-degree heat.

If you absolutely insist on eating poutine in Montreal (I don't see why, given it's a dish that's often far better outside the city), the Portuguese poutine at Ma Poule Mouillée right across the street is just as good. The one at La Patate Rouge, along Crémazie, is divine. Whatever you land on, do not stand in line for a poutine. You're better than that.